But Sir! It Really DID Follow Me Home!
by Lady Shadowfire
Summary: Just clearing the cobwebs. The title says it all, really. Rating for language, and the fact that there's a dead thing in the first chapter...


As mentioned, this story is inspired by the drabble I wrote earlier, to clear out my brain. If you haven't read "But It Followed Me Home, Sir!" then you should, and review. But if you haven't, that's okay too, cause you don't really need to. 

I wasn't actually going anywhere with this story, it's just a 'clear out the cobwebs thing' so if you want to see something happen, give me suggestions, and I might make it happen. In other words, review.

PX343 532 was _boring_. At least, that's what Jack decided after having sat on the same rock watching Daniel make funny faces at a wall as the archaeologist tried to decipher some squiggle or other. 

In fact, the planet was so boring, that Jack actually remembered its 'name'. If ever anyone asked him to go on a mission to PX343 532, he would run away and hide in a closet. 

Unless the mission involved a fishing rod and a camping trip, he thought suddenly as he looked wistfully over at the lake he could only just see from the rock he was sitting on. 

"Are you unwell, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked as the Jaffa came back from his fifth patrol around the dig site. 

"I'm bored. Tell you what. You stay here this time; I'll go do the rounds. Anything to get out of hearing Daniel mutter for hours on end." Teal'c raised one eyebrow, tilted his head toward the ruins they were guarding, and noticed that Dr Daniel Jackson, the most brilliant linguist anyone had ever met, was currently staring at a piece of the wall, his lips puckered up, his eyes squinting and his brow wrinkled. He looked as though he had eaten of the Tau'ri fruit that O'Neill called a 'lemon'. 

Teal'c lowered his eyebrow in sympathy. O'Neill had given him a lemon to try, once. 

The experience had not turned out well.

"Indeed. I will remain on guard here, O'Neill. As you pass the third ridge of rocks beyond the lake side, you will notice a strange smell of decay," Jack listened as Teal'c gave him the briefing on the patrol route. "I have checked all ready. It is some kind of large feline, which has recently died. I believe it is female, as a litter of kittens was also dead in the cave beyond it."

"From what?" Jack asked, a little concerned. Sure, a dead native predator wasn't that big a problem, because he couldn't really see a reason for a Goa'uld to come through the Gate just to kill a cat. Then again, there had been that hunting expedition on the planet of the Nox…

"Another predator, I believe. No signs of any humans or Goa'uld near that area."

"Good to know. I'll check it out on my way past." He gave Teal'c a nod, indicated to Major Carter that he was leaving on patrol, waved at Daniel, who was too immersed in trying to pronounce the words correctly to notice him, and walked off. 

Teal'c was obviously under exaggerating the stench, Jack thought as he covered his face with the army issue green bandanna that was hanging around his neck. They'd learnt the bandannas were damn invaluable on desert worlds, where sand and grit made it hard to breath, and they'd quickly become part of the regular off world uniform.

The big cat was lying across the entrance of a cave, which was too small for Jack to enter with the backpack on his back. He shed it, left the pack on the ground under a tree, readied his P-90 and shuffled uneasily through the entrance. 

How Teal'c managed to get through there, was something he wasn't sure he really wanted to ask the big guy, but finally he found the little nest of dead kittens. 

Compared to the cat at the entrance, which was at least the size of a St Bernard, the kittens looked like normal, suburban, house cat kittens. They were tiny. And they'd probably starved to death, poor things. 

Taking a look around the little cave, he noted the old and rotting carcases of small deer like creatures, and frowned. Something metal glinted under one of the carcases. Grimacing at the smell, he shoved the carcase aside, and picked up the little piece of metal. A chain followed it up, and he realised it was a necklace.

"Colonel?" Jack frowned and activated his com. 

"What is it, Carter?" 

"Daniel, sir." Jack groaned, put the necklace in a pocket without really thinking about it, and made his way back through the cave entrance. 

"What did he do this time?" He asked as he picked up his pack and slung it onto his shoulder. "Fall down a hole in the ground?" There was a moment of silence from the com in his ear, and he sighed. "Carter, did Danny boy actually fall down a hole in the ground?"

"Yes sir. It was some sort of ancient booby trap, Colonel. Daniel activated it. Teal'c's getting him out, but it looks like he's hurt his leg." 

"Alright. Pack up the site, we're going home. Finally." Thankyou, Spacemonkey! He added in his own mind. 

"Yes sir."

"Mew." 

Jack stopped, looked around, and shook his head, then continued to help Daniel down the ramp. It was probably just the archaeologist trying not to whimper about having a broken leg. So why did it sound so feline like? 

"SG1, go to the infirmary, then get cleaned up, debriefing in one hour." Hammond's voice sounded over the P.A system. 

Medical staff took the packs from them almost automatically. Daniel and Sam's packs were handled with care, since they had a habit of bringing back dangerous alien artifacts. Teal'c and Jack's packs were simply placed in their quarters until they themselves could clean and check them over. 

So when the med tech dumped the pack in Colonel O'Neill's office and left, there was no one around to see the two fluffy grey and black striped ears pop out of the top of the pack. A pink nose and two large metallic grey eyes popped up after them. 

The kitten scrambled out of the pack, with a little difficulty since she'd been cramped in there for a good twenty minutes, and a Gate ride. Her hind leg was asleep, so she sat down and washed it until feeling came back. 

"Mew." Looking around, she realised this place smelt a lot like The-Silver-Furred-Alpha-Male. Though she'd only gotten a glimpse of him as she'd been investigating the contents of the pack, but his pack had interesting smells, and so did this room. 

Jumping up onto a Rock-Made-Of-Wood, what the Old One had called a 'table' the kitten sat down complacently on a pile of Tree-Skins that smelled like Black-Marking-Water. 

She'd just come back from hunting a Furry-Scamperer when she'd seen the Silver-Furred-Alpha-Male entering the den of her dam, so she wasn't hungry now, but she really wished there was a nice lake of water around here somewhere. Better yet, a slowly moving stream. The Big Blue Ring Of Not-Water always made her feel thirsty when she was taken through it. 

She contented herself with wrapping her tail around her forepaws and waiting. 

She didn't have to wait long. 

The Silver-Furred-Alpha-Male stepped through the Moving-Silver-Rock-Wall (the Old One called it a 'door', she remembered vaguely) and sat down on the small Skin-Covered-Rock in front of the Rock-Made-Of-Wood.

"Mew." 

Jack jerked his head up in surprise. 

He froze. 

The kitten froze too, and they stared at each other. 

His mind rushed quickly, as he examined it with sight alone. It was identical to the kittens he'd found in the cave. Barely big enough to make up a handful, it sat their calmly on what appeared to be a mission report Jack was supposed to be going over concerning some mission two weeks ago. 

It wasn't blinking. Why the hell wasn't it blinking?

"Jack? Hey, Jack are you in there? Janet let me out on crouch-" Daniel stopped talking as he managed to open the door, and found this interesting sight. 

"Hi Danny," Jack said absently, as the kitten continued to stare at him. It hadn't even flinched as Daniel had come in. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary, letting the Doc slap a cast on you?"

"Uh…she…she say's I have to wait until the swelling goes down… Until then, I wear a splint and bandage… Jack, why is there a kitten on your desk?"

Jack shrugged uneasily. The kitten still hadn't blinked. 

"Daniel, there you are! Janet said you shouldn't leave the infirmary… Colonel O'Neill? Why is there a kitten on your desk?"

"He doesn't know, Sam. It's cute, isn't it?" 

"Ah." 

It _still_ hadn't blinked. This was starting to get a little unnerving. 

"Major Carter, Daniel Jackson, I believe General Hammond is waiting for us in the-" Teal'c paused as he stopped next to Sam and looked at the little creature on the desk. "Ah…O'Neill, is that not one of the cats that we found dead in the cave beyond the third ridge of rock formations near the lake on PX343 532?" Teal'c asked precisely. 

"Yup." Jack said thoughtfully. 

"Ah." Teal'c stepped further into the room to get a better vantage-point. They all stared at the little cat, which continued its staring contest with Jack. 

"Colonel O'Neill, have you seen- Daniel! There you are. If you aren't back in the infirmary in-" Doctor Fraiser suddenly realised that their attention was elsewhere, which was unusual, since most people payed attention with deadly seriousness when she yelled at them. She looked down at the Colonel's desk, and noticed what looked suspiciously like a plush toy kitten. But it couldn't be a toy, because its tail was flickering. "Oh." 

"That's the general consensus," Sam muttered faintly. "Well, actually it's 'ah', but let's not get picky."

Jack spared an irritated thought for all these people who were gathering in his office without his consent, but most of his attention was still drawn down to the kitten. 

"What in blazes is going on around here?!" A Texan accent demanded, and General Hammond stepped into the room. "I was expecting you all in the Briefing Room half an hour ag-" Hammond caught sight of the kitten and frowned unhappily. "Colonel, what is that doing on the base?" Jack finally raised his head, and looked from General Hammond's bemused face to the adorable fluffy un-collared kitten on his desk. 

"Mew." The kitten finally blinked, and Jack sat back in surprise while the others in the room collectively gasped at being released from whatever compulsion had kept them staring at the cat. 

"It followed me back from PX343 532, sir. Can I keep it?"


End file.
